and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
then he tried to convert me to islam
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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