I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize