My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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