You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
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