Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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