Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
