you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
