Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
try to milk me bitch
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