Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
