super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
