yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
