There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
