No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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