theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
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