Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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