the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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