I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
