she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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