i just made my gag reflex go away.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
