Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
