I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
We have started to decorate penises.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
