"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize