Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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