they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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