I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
it hurts more in the daytime
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
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