Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
