No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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