I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
