No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
