I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I met the friendliest cop last night
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
