Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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