We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
