No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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