You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
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