Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
