just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize