Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
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