she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
