I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
