I must be too annoying 4 u.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
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