last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I have already put on my inside pants.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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