dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
40s are totally the cure
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
