Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize