I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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