i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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