Pappa wants mamma naked
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
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