You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Will exercising make me less horny?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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