Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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