Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
