Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
