Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
