I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
In America we eat man semen.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
