Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
