I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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