everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
