so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Randomize
