About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
