There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
