I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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