I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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