He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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