Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize