he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
