i was rollin on her like bob the builder
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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